Friday, September 9, 2016

New Trump Appointment

President Donald J. Trump today named Harland Dorringer, DC, a chiropractor from Harlingen, Texas, as the Surgeon General of the United States.

Dr. Dorringer stated in his acceptance statement that he welcomed the opportunity to serve his country by redressing the ills brought on by the “current craze for allopathic medicine.”
“This country has been anesthetized by the self-interested magical spell cast by rich doctors,” he stated.

“Look at the millions of dollars we are wasting by all these vaccinations,” he added. “Not only are they expensive, they cause untold numbers of diseases and side-effects. It would be much safer and cost-effective to substitute spinal manipulations for these injections, not to mention less painful.”

Dr. Dorringer also said that the trend toward using electronic medical records was a result of doctors' bad handwriting, which could be better corrected by massage. He also questioned medicine’s poor opinion of tobacco use, stating that the nature of sedentary work required that the lungs needed some stimulation, “so it might as well be tobacco smoke.”

Mr. Trump was asked if he supported these opinions, and responded: “We're certainly going to look into it closely, with the best people. I know that I have benefited greatly from chiropractors in my life, and it was a chiropractor in fact who introduced me to my wife in a special office he ran for VIPs, of which I certainly was one.”

Budd Shenkin

No comments:

Post a Comment